May 27, 2014

God's Eye

 
 
A few weeks ago I pulled the most beautiful Gods-Eye artwork out of my son's backpack. 
Recoiling when he saw it, he quickly begged for me to stuff it back inside.
But to me, it was the most perfect thing I'd ever laid eyes on...simply because his own sweet little hands had created it.
 
Taken back, I asked "why?" he was so upset.  This was his reply. 
 
"Mom, it is all wrong.  I tried.  But I couldn't get it right.  It is junk.  Throw it away.
 Even though the teacher kept showing me over and over, I couldn't get it right, so she finally said,
 
'oh well' 

It doesn't look like the other kid's. It is supposed to look like an eye, not that." 
 
....and although he couldn't articulate it, "shame" dulled his innocent eyes. 
My heart broke right along side his. 
 
Holding back the tears, I took my son into my arms.
 
"Honey, it is perfect". 
The way you made it is exactly the way it is supposed to be. 
God didn't want yours to look like everyone else's because He wanted your art to reflect your story...and how He took care of you.
 
What did He do for you when you were a tiny baby in the hospital?  "He healed me". 
 
And what else?  "He held me" 
Exactly. 
 
I prayed that God Himself would hold my son close those long months in the NICU, when I couldn't physically hold him. And I believe He did.

"I will offer you peace like a river, and as a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you".   
 
Even though my sweet baby couldn't feel me near, I was always close by his side. 
I was intricately involved and knew every painful aspect of his journey, yet he may not have experienced my presence like I longed for him to. 
My son may have felt abandoned and alone in that dreadful incubator, even though I never left his side.  It was that very incubator that God used to save his life. 
The tubes that felt as if they could strangle my son, were instruments of life to him. 
The needles and knives that assaulted his wafer-thin skin, were used by God to heal him. 
 
When I finally brought him home, at four months of age, all I could do was hold him for hours on end.  And cry.  And pray. 
I prayed that God would turn it all for his good. 
That he would somehow feel God's love and my love so deeply that his heart could heal.    
 
"That is what your art is", I continued..
"It's a picture of Jesus' rainbow promises that wrap around our hearts and heal us". 
 
To me, who saw my son's journey in big picture format...his art was clear. 
But to him, it just looked like a tangled mess.          
 
Then it hit me...I really needed to take my own advice.
 
Maybe God is wanting to reassure me when I feel discouraged, misunderstood or different.      
 
I've been with you your entire life and have full understanding.
You will someday...I promise. 
Oh, how I've longed to hold you, my child. 
I am on my feet, hands clapping, in overwhelming love and excitement over you...just like you are your son.  My heart breaks when I see you hurting. 
Please let me love you.  I will never, ever stop."
 
The "threads" that the enemy of our soul intends to frustrate and strangle the life out of us with,
can be the very instruments God uses to weave our lives into galleries of hope.            
 
All too often we feel like God is far away, watching only from a distance.
Life experiences scream at us, making us feel that God has abandoned us, or is only there to punish us when we can't measure up.  And we never can. 
Yet He says, 
 
"Peace, Peace to those near and far...and I will heal them."
 
His eye is on us - yes. 
But only as a loving Savior who longs to draw us into His arms of mercy. 
He will take the tangled, strangling circumstances of our lives and transform them into a thing of beauty; when we allow Him to carefully stitch our broken hearts back together,
piece by piece.    

We can finally breathe a sign of relief and feel our hearts come alive again,
embraced by His promises. 
~ Envelope us with Your Love, Father ~
 
He is closer than a brother. 

2 comments:

mothermade said...

Hi Samantha … just checking in.

trucillomario said...

Hi there! My name is Mario. I was hoping you could answer a question I have about your blog. Send me an email when you get a chance. You can reach me at trucillo.mario@recallcenter.com